Realizations

BY ZEP

So I've been thinking (don't hurt yourself ZEP).

In all my desperation to get out of this boring, mundane town, I've kinda forgotten how good I have it.

I have a caring family, a nice home, food and shelter, and a room that I can retreat to whenever necessary. I have parents who have done their best to support me in my schooling by getting me a bank loan. And then I come on here and complain about how shitty it is.

Wait. Come again?

I complain about it. Why the fuck do I do that? Somewhere in me, there seems to be this sick notion that is suggesting that maybe I don't want to have it good. As nice as everything is, I don't feel free. I feel like I'm being kept in this utopian bubble that is preventing me from learning and making mistakes.

It's not like I haven't made any though. I've made copius amounts of mistakes. But I've learned from them. Without fuckups, who would we be? We can't become better people without them. My family (most of them anyway) have this ideal that says you shouldn't make mistakes.

"Do it right the first time" is the motto.

But what if I don't always want to? I want to live and experience things, and if I trip a little (or a lot) on the way, I want to be able to learn from that experience and make myself a better person. I wanna get my own place, educate myself on what it's like to support myself instead of always having to rely on my mommy and daddy for help.

It's not that I don't appreciate their help, but I'd rather that they don't have to come and pull me out of all my messes, cause sometimes, you just need to pull yourself out.